“wow, this guy is

loud.”

My whole life, I’ve been called loud. I always blamed it on having a dad who’s 95% deaf—

this is definitely a cop-out.

I have tried to quantify it for years, and I think it boils down to: I know who I am, life excites me, and I’m not afraid to share this with the world.

You can tune in if you want.

When I’m not writing, I’m gaming. When I’m not gaming, I’m chilling. When I’m not chilling, all of the embarrassing moments of my life flash aggressively before me in 4k Memory VisionTM.

  • I shoot and edit video, and I’ve produced a few cool ones.

    I’ve had a passion for acting for a while: this makes me a killer presenter and a good public speaker.

    I have a firm grasp on technology: this lets me learn new programs quickly and often ends in me being the go-to interim IT person. This can be a good or bad thing.

    I like coming up with fun solutions to problems, and I believe I have a knack for it: I think much of life can benefit from using this approach.

    I love sandwiches.

    I can get along with anyone, and I am confident when talking, be it a full room or an empty person.

  • When I was a little kid, I used to stand beside my dad’s office chair and rest my head on the armrest while he played HalfLife 2 — my love of games started early and earnestly.

    So of course, I still play lots of FPS (First Person Shooter) games and shooter games in general. Everyone played MW2, so I’ve played too much COD in my life. Way, way, way too much. I was there when the scrolls were written. I love HELLDIVERS.

    Other than that, I enjoy strategy games, MOBA games, platformers: I really play just about anything (except for the Final Fantasy flavored ones).

    My gamer tag is daveydoodles97 pretty much everywhere.

  • I’m a huge metalhead. I love to cook for people (only when I do it well). I like to fish. The Outer Banks of North Carolina is one of my favorite places on earth.

    My family’s hand-built cabin in Buckingham county VA from the 1700’s is still (barely) standing. I can recite the whole 14 minute LP version of “Rapper’s Delight”.

    I do lots of impressions and voices and references when I’m comfortable. If you’re lucky, you’ll get to see a few.

xtras!

xtras!

I’ve put some fun stuff on here just for shits and giggles.

May it bring you the latter, not the former.

xtras!

xtras!

Between the panes

Co-produced with Richie Sargeant

Richie and I wrote, shot, edited, produced (and acted in) this social-forward campaign with Director Michael Hagan.

There’s over 20 of these.

Here’s 4 of my faves.

david’s list

of favorite

words

Dirigible

Phantom

Loqaucious

Fickle

Rapt

Rend

Offhand

Rabblerouse

Mechanized

Laconic

Apt

Cockles

Jowls

Chigrin

Pleistocene

Clang

Holler

Cattywompus

Cattycorner

Inept

Utter

Heliocentric

Riddled

Rack

Pontificate

Supplicate

Orbital

Upend

Submerge

Fringes

Shackles

Oggle

Frigate

Raunchy

Frizzled

Immaculate

Rotoscope

Rotund

david’s list

of favorite

phrases

I’m as hot as two mice f**king in a wool sock.

Even a blind squirrel is right twice a day.

Chalk it up to—

Juice worth the squeeze.

“Well slap me thrice and hand me to me mother.”

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, can’t get fooled again.”

"Watch me hit this drive.”

Go around my thumb to get to my ass.

B.F.E.

“The bell tolls for thee.”

“Water, water everywhere — nor any drop to drink.”

“Offhand me, greybeard loon!”

“Ugh, that smells. Kida like my fourth wife. She pretty though. Pretty and smelly. Weird combination.”

What does that have to do with the high price of eggs in China?

It’s not rocket surgery.

We’ll burn that bridge when we get there.

If you had fun, you won.

It’s all fun and games—

They’re barking up the wrong tree.

There’s bigger fish to fry.

Doesn’t stand a snowflakes chance in hell.

Get you some.

That ship has sailed.

You can lead a horse to water and whatnot.

All hat and no cattle.

Welp, I’m up Shit’s Creek without a paddle.

Dog’ll hunt.

I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire.

It’s got everything and the kitchen sink.

Couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn.

Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Shakin’ in my boots.

They’re a few nuggets short of a happy meal.

Not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Look a gift horse in the mouth.

Next, memes I made for class.